Many times I wrestle with what’s going on in my life. If I’m honest, in those times, I’m wrestling with You. You are allowing it all to happen and I don’t know why. I want to understand and I want to know how it’ll all work out. I want Your help figuring it out. But I also have my own ideas of how things should go. I can’t fully rest in the situation or in You.
Jacob wrestled with You and it went all night long. He asked You to bless Him and You did. But there was a price to pay—his hip was forever injured and his name was changed to Israel. Yet, he awoke from that encounter blessed. He had lost something but gained even more. And he was remade into Israel, forever changed.
Jesus tells me that I must take up my cross and follow Him. Again, there is a price to pay. I bear a cross. Sometimes the cross is light and other times it’s heavy. Yet I follow
anyway.
You promise to love me in the good and the bad. And I have a whole lot of good—a whole lot to be thankful for. Yet my mind goes to the less pleasant, the bad. I focus on the wrong things. Why is that? Is that part of the remaking process—changing my name?
How does that happen? Well, Jacob wrestled with You all night long. He also obeyed You and spent other time with You. I think I must do the same—to change my perspective, what I focus on, and how to interpret the goings on of my life. This includes wrestling with You when I don’t understand and my trust wanes. I love that You tell me in Your Word the story of the father who said “I believe but help me overcome my unbelief.” You see the fragility of my flesh, my spirit and my hope.
But time spent with You—especially consistently over weeks, months and years—my heart and mind change and are renewed. I am remade. While not external to the world, my name is changed. I recognize more fully my new name—beloved child of God. Your love transforms me.
You blessed Jacob/Israel, and You will bless me. I will walk on holy ground.
It may require some toil, but it’ll be worth it in the end. I just know it. Your love and grace are unmatched.
In the Name of Jesus, with Whom I Wrestle, but Who Patiently Awaits and Blesses, I pray.
Amen.

