My Beautiful God, You are so patient with me. You are grand—yet gentle and humble. You wait on me and never turn me away. You pursue me, but oh so quietly and unhurriedly. You wait as long as it takes for me to turn my life to You.
Sometimes when I’m with You, a peace fills me, calms clothes me and I feel complete. But not always. I wish it were true always.
You tell us to seek You. “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” You want my heart. You want me to seek to be with You, to spend time with You—in true desire, not in obligation. That’s what puts a smile on Your face.
What I’m learning is that I don’t have to “do” to be with You. I can just “be.” Yes, reading Your Word draws me closer to You and can speak into my heart when I’m curious and open to listen. Singing to You and listening to Jesus music is another form of worship. But so is just sitting or standing and asking to be in Your Presence, purposely being with You in quiet.
At first my mind thinks, jumps around, trying to fill the silence. But then I realize that it’s unnecessary. I don’t need to “do.” You did it all on the cross. You loved me first. I can simply respond and “be” loved. That opens my heart to love You back. It makes me feel good to just sit with You in silence, to receive Your love and share in Your glory—the place of shalom.
You are inviting me. You’ll wait as long as it takes. Your hand is always open. Holy Spirit, I need Your help to understand more fully my relationship with You. I need to more fully accept that there is no earning or performing. I want to feel the desire to want to spend more time with You. I want the desire to read my Bible, to learn more about You. I want to be looking for You throughout my days, to discover Your treasures and wisdom. I want to talk to You throughout my days. I don’t want it to be a chore, but a delight. I can’t do this fully on my own.
I need You to change my heart—to take what I know is true in my head and let it blossom in my heart. While I usually want what I want—I want to want what You want. Help me Holy Spirit. Open my mind, body and soul to live and be with You more fully.
In the Patient and Gentle Name of Jesus I pray.
Amen.
